Blogger Challenge Day 2: Where I Want to Be in Ten Years

I have to admit...this one drew me up short. I'm pretty goal-oriented and like having a plan, but I don't tend to think this far out. Ten years from now my oldest two children will be out of the house and my baby will be entering high school. Truly, I'd like to freeze time right where it is and never see that ten-year mark. I know God has great things in store for their lives and mine, but I still want to hold them close and never let them go.

But time will march on, and ten years will be here before we can blink an eye. And this blog challenge is as good a time as any to get some compelling goals on the record for where I want to "be" in ten years.  As I consider that challenge, I can say that I don't have a lot of preference for where I'll physically reside in ten years, as long as it means I am alive, curling up next to my husband at night, prospering in my career, serving in my church, and actively engaged in my children's lives - but I do have a lot of hopes for where I will be in terms of my spiritual and personal growth, so I'm going to choose to drill down on those here.

So, here goes.  If I work purposefully with the Holy Spirit, then in 10 Years I will:

1. Listen more and talk less.  If you know me, you're laughing right now.  Yes, this is a tall order. But I really want to become the person Peter is referring to here:  "You should clothe yourselves instead from the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God."  1 Pet 3:4.  Thank God for the Holy Spirit because on my own, I could never hope to accomplish this, whether I had 10 years or 100 years to work on it.
2. Pray more. I do this a good deal now, and I try not to operate under the burden of a legalistic mindset about how much or how often I pray.  But I am utterly convinced that prayer is powerful and precious, and I just simply need to do more of it.
3. Know more of God's Word.  I love the Word of God...I mean really love it.  If I won the lottery tomorrow (which would require me to buy lottery tickets, I realize), I would quit my job and enroll in seminary.  I'd pursue a Master's and a PhD in divinity.  I'd learn Greek and ancient Hebrew and literally immerse myself in theological study. But I can't use my job and my lack of wealth as an excuse not to pursue those same goals to whatever extent I can. Studying Epic of Eden last year reignited my zeal for biblical scholarship, so if ten years from now I have ignored that hunger for God's Word and know it only as well as I know it now, I'll be disappointed in myself.
4. Serve with high impact.  Having just witnessed the groundbreaking of our future church building, I pray that 10 years from now Celebration will have broadened its global impact and that I will play a contributory part in seeing that happen. 
5. Bear beautiful fruit. While I will not necessarily be in my "old age" (Psalm 92:14), I do hope at 53 years old, I will be better at surrendering to the Holy Spirit and allowing Him to release His fruit in my life. Selfishly, I do want to flourish like a palm tree and be fresh and green under the favor of God, but mostly I know that if I'm still bearing fruit as I grow older, I'm still positioning myself to be used by God.

There are a lot more ways I hope I've grown and changed in 10 years.  I hope I'm thinner and healthier.  I hope I'm slower to anger and frustration and quicker to compassion and forgiveness.  I hope I trust God more and worry less.  And I hope I'm still dreaming. I'm an idealist to my core, and if I ever stop dreaming, it will be time for me to stop living.  :)

What about you?  Where do you want to "be" in 10 years?

-Lea

Blogger Challenge Day 1: My Current Relationship

This will be one of the easiest posts of this 30-day challenge. There is nothing, aside from my relationship with God, more fulfilling in my life than my "current relationship." I had to grin when I typed those words because I've had more than a few relationships in my life, and "current" would have been an appropriate way to refer to any relationship I was in. I admit there was a time that I was more in love with being in love than I was with being in a relationship, and it took me a number of years and some painful choices to figure out that staying in love is really where the fun is. There are a lot of things that contributed to that unhealthy mindset that I won't go into here (maybe in another post in this challenge), but needless to say, the lesson was hard-learned and hard-earned.

I was on the tail end of learning that hard lesson (ie, divorce #2) when I met Grady. Emerging from a few painful years of his own and struggling, like I was, with what he really wanted out of his life, we were quite the pair of relationship misfits. I look back now almost 9 years later and realize that we couldn't have been better suited for each other.  When both people enter a relationship with humility, the right kind of seeds get planted in the right kind of soil.  Neither of us felt worthy of love and both of us were astoundingly grateful to have found it in each other. Beyond that, I discovered the simple truth that if you look closely at truly successful relationships, you'll find two people who are really into each other.  I can now recognize it in other marriages, and I see it in my own.  It's not about how much or how little you argue, whether you agree on everything, whether you like the same things, or whether you have the perfect schedule of date nights. It's about that deep connection you have to that other person that is the underpinning of all the rest.  Bottom line...I am really into my husband and he is really into me.  Falling in love is the easy part.  Anyone can do it, and you can do it with anyone.  But staying in love is where the magic really is.

People who say that romance inevitably departs a relationship and it's what you have left that defines your marriage are missing the point of it all. When we make our vows at the altar, we're not just committing to "stick around." We're committing to love and to cherish.  Those speak to an attitude of the heart, not just a decision of the will.  I realize that there are a lot of marriages out there that will technically make it because of an unwavering commitment to stay, but that's a far cry from an unwavering commitment to stay in love.  To stay takes endurance, but to stay in love takes so much more. 

The Top 10 things I've learned about staying in love from my "current relationship" are:

1. My passion for my point of view should never override my passion for my husband.
2. Falling in love with your children does not mean falling out of love with your husband.
3. Sex and intimacy are critical to a joyful marriage. Despite what wives often think, God didn't create sex for men. He created it for the marriage. That means it's important, you shouldn't forsake it, and your relationship will suffer without it.  
4. Nothing I'm doing is more important then greeting my husband when he comes home. No matter what I'm doing, I stop and go to the door (or sometimes even to the driveway) to show him how happy I am that he is home. He gets a long, passionate kiss and is told how much he was missed. Every single time.
5. Like Newton's law, love in motion tends to stay in motion. Most married couples fall "out of love" because they let love lose its momentum. Reconnecting after long periods of disconnect takes way more emotional effort than just staying connected from the beginning.
6. The same things that were important when you were falling in love are important when you're staying in love. Kisses in the movie theater, holding hands in the grocery store, a sexy wink, the extra effort to look amazing - all mean just as much (maybe more!) when you're married than when you were dating.
7. Respect is like sexy in a bottle. I'm never more "into" my husband than when he is doing things that engender my deepest respect, and because I know this, I look for those things because they truly stoke my passion for him. If you dwell on the fact that your husband doesn't have six-pack abs or won't take out the garbage, you'll miss the strong, competent way he handles your household finances or counsels your children or performs his job. If you struggle with this, get out and watch your husband in action - at work, on the ballfield, in his Sunday ministry, somewhere that he truly excels and takes your breath away. It's important for you to see his strengths because that builds respect and respect deepens love and love builds connection.  This may be my most important tip and I probably should have put it at #1.
8. Never assume anything about your relationship. Love is never "a given." Your husband's heart needs daily attention from you, and yours needs daily attention from him.  Leaving love notes, sending sexy text messages, and waking your spouse up in the middle of the night just to make love may seem like suggestions from a corny love coupon, but they are worth the effort.  And yes, I do all of those things - and best of all, I do them because I want to, not because I feel like I have to.
9. Spend more time with your husband than you do anyone else.  This is a tough one.  Jobs, kids, ministries, and friends have a way of stealing all of our time. Too often our husbands get the last scraps of time and attention we have left. I don't have a lot of control over my work hours or over the time we spend with our kids, but I've learned to make time with my husband a frequent and important part of my life - not just a date night we tentatively schedule for two weeks from now.  If that means foregoing time out with friends or saying no to one more volunteer commitment or forcing myself to push back from my desk and walk away from my work, then that's what it means.  You may need to start reciting this in your head, "He is more important than all of those things put together."  If you can't say that about your husband, you have a problem.
10. Pray. Often. Together.  This is likely the most important of all.  For Grady and I, our shared faith in and commitment to God is the glue that binds us, but we have also come to recognize that when we come to Him as a couple and put our marriage and our lives in His hands, not only are we drawn closer to Him, but we are drawn closer to each other in the process.  "A three-vessel cord is not easily broken."  There are probably no truer words in the Bible when it comes to marriage.

So those are my top 10 lessons about staying in love.  What are yours?

30-Day Blogger Challenge

I recently came across this 30-day blogging challenge when scrolling through the pin boards at Pinterest. I love the idea of purposeful blogging with a bit of an idea prompt. Some days you just get stuck in the head space of, "I have no idea what to say."  Now before you laugh, I know that if you know me well, it's not likely I ever lack for something to say, but a creative writing exercise like this is a writer's dream. It's like picking a beautiful topic out of a hat and jumping off into a great subject. So starting tomorrow, I'm going to tackle this 30-day blogging challenge - picking one topic a day and really drilling down on it.  It's a great way to practice great writing, to tell stories, and to let God inspire profound thinking and even more profound writing.

So why don't you join me?  Are you a blogger or perhaps a blogging wannabe?  Now is a great time to start putting yourself out there.  Blogging is nothing more than journaling in a virtual space where you allow people a sneek peak at the canvas of your life.  So if you're game, join me tomorrow either on your own blog (or right here) to take the 30-day blogger challenge.

It won't be an easy task. As you can see on the list, some of these topics are pretty heavy and will require some soulful transparency, and others are fun and will tell others a lot about the things you love. 

-Lea

On "Wasting" Time and Wasted Timing

The pomegranates have appeared in the land, the time for pruning and singing has come; the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land. Song of Solomon 2:12

While curled up on the couch with my iPad this beautiful Saturday morning, Clifford on the TV for Aiden and a hot cup of coffee by my side, I found this short but high-impact little nugget from Seth Godin on the subject of wasting time:

Seth Godin - Wasting Time

I think Seth has hit on something critical here - that what we do in our "downtime" is as important as what we do when we're hard at work or engaged in something "important" - but I admit that I'm not a fan of the phrase "waste of time." You can't really waste time. Waste implies that you didn't use that time, that somehow you burned it. Time is a currency you're going to spend whether you like it or not. You can, however, waste opportunity. And God fills our days with many moments of opportunity. It's less about a waste of time, and more about a waste of timing.

Obviously time is important. We are only allotted so much of it, and the clock is ticking. Our days are numbered. There are 865 passages across 63 books in the Bible that reference time. But a great many of them speak to moments of timing - where availability, preparation, and opportunity intersect. More than a few of those 865 contain references to "at that time" or "at the appointed time," and we see the plans of God breathed into those spaces of temporal opportunity. God has give us every indication that timing really is, as they say, everything.

As Seth suggests, spending our downtime currency in meaningful ways is so important. It's in those times of "pruning and singing" (Song of Solomon, above) that we hear from God, discover purpose, give free reign to joy and creativity, weed out the junk in our souls, and have our thinking and our attitudes painfully, but mercifully, pruned by our loving God. But that expenditure of time is not for our personal edification. It is for our preparation. It is the downpayment of time on the future prize of unmissed timing.

She is clothed with strength and honor, and she can laugh at the time to come. Proverbs 31:25

The woman of God who can laugh at the future (and I interpret this as a joyful, abundant laugh, not a nose-thumbing, taunting one) is the woman who has invested both her "up" time (the work of her hands) and her downtime (pruning and singing) in ways that make her ready for those divine moments of timing she knows will come. Some will involve tragedy, pain, and the fruit of resilience. Some will involve victory, celebration, and the fruit of joy. Some will involve a bold word spoken at the right time and the fruit of faithfulness.

But she can be assured that all of them will involve her, her preparation, and God's perfect timing.

Lea

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

On Writing, Ministry Calling, and iPad Blogging

It's been so long since I've had the time and luxury to sit down and blog. When I do it, I realize how much I miss it and need it. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a born writer - and by that I mean that it seems to flow from me and always has. Formal education in English and a career in communications has honed it, but it was in me - breathed into me by a gift-giving God - long before I learned how to do it well.

I recall a Thanksgiving when I was about 9 or 10 years old when my mother told me I could say the blessing in front of our entire family for our Thanksgiving meal. She mentioned this several days prior to the holiday, and in retrospect, I strongly suspect that it was because she knew I had the ability to do it and that I would take it seriously. This may sound odd to Christian families whose children frequently offer a pre-meal blessing or lead their families in daily devotions or prayers, but I was raised Catholic, and our prayers were of the more memorized and predictable sort. My mother was asking me to go bigger. And with the intuition only a mother possesses, she knew God had called me to something special...a life that would involve teaching, writing, and Him. And here was an opportunity to step out and do all three at an early age.

I would give anything to still have a copy of the prayer I wrote that Thanksgiving. I remember taking great care in writing it, taking seriously the opportunity to say something meaningful to and about my God, about gratitude, and about the blessing of my family. I don't remember the prayer I wrote but I do remember that it took up nearly four pages of college-ruled paper...front and back! When the time came, my Mom's lovingly prepared meal laid out on the table, and my family gathered, I stood up with my 4 sheets of notebook paper, hands trembling, and felt the Holy Spirit draw me into ministry for the first time in my life. My family was moved and touched, and I was called. I know no other way to describe it. My love for the power of words, of language, and of its ability to impact lives began that day.

As I write this...from the BlogPress app on my new iPad...I realize that this great love has never diminished. I love writing every bit a much as I did that day. I do a whole lot of it everyday and will be doing a great deal of it in my new job, but I need a place to write from my heart and not just from my mind. When I spend days on end writing white papers, ad copy, product descriptions, and technical-ese, something in my soul just withers. I've come to realize that when God gives you a gift, you can use it for many things, but your soul will only prosper when you are using it as He ordained at the moment of it's impartation.

I've been stoked about my iPad from the moment I put my hands on it (seriously...it's an addictive and empowering blessing), but the freedom and flexibility to write and minister from it have rendered me profoundly grateful.

When did you first recognize God's call on your life, and are you operating in that gift the way God ordained? I hope so!

-Lea

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad